I really want to just not care. To be free from all the due dates of labs. Exams. Finals.
And at times (more frequently now), I just don't give a shit. I end up reading The Hunger Games or watching YouTube live performances when I know I have a 813764-page lab due and an exam the next day. But I read and watch without a care in the world, until my conscience kicks in at midnight and tells me to work. FUCK YOU, CONSCIENCE.
My conscience is a lot stronger during the wee hours of the night (maybe because I am most weak at this point because I haven't eaten in 813764 hours haha), so I end up working. But with such limited time, plus the fact that I can't think properly at such late hours, there's really not much I can do to make up for the past 813764 hours of not caring.
So in the end, I'm stuck with a mediocre grade when I know that I could have:
- Tried harder & earlier and gotten a better result.
Or, my favorite:
- Just given up and not tried at all, and spent my time doing something more fun (e.g. reading The Hunger Games or watching my YouTube vids)
BUT NO! I CANNOT MAKE UP MY FUCKING MIND. I keep switching between caring and not caring and it's really screwing with my head.
I wish school would just end now.
BUT NO! 24 more of these lovely days ❤
ANGRY EMO BIPOLAR CATHY