Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Thoughts from a hungry college student who is sitting in front of her laptop at 3:31 AM in the cold dark dorm room

Listening to F.I.R., I wish I could be living in a Fairyland in Reality right now.  Sadly, I live in a place (a dorm) where school dominates along with his possy of labs and exams.

I really want to just not care.  To be free from all the due dates of labs.  Exams.  Finals.

And at times (more frequently now), I just don't give a shit.  I end up reading The Hunger Games or watching YouTube live performances when I know I have a 813764-page lab due and an exam the next day.  But I read and watch without a care in the world, until my conscience kicks in at midnight and tells me to work.  FUCK YOU, CONSCIENCE.

My conscience is a lot stronger during the wee hours of the night (maybe because I am most weak at this point because I haven't eaten in 813764 hours haha), so I end up working.  But with such limited time, plus the fact that I can't think properly at such late hours, there's really not much I can do to make up for the past 813764 hours of not caring.

So in the end, I'm stuck with a mediocre grade when I know that I could have:

  • Tried harder & earlier and gotten a better result.

Or, my favorite:

  • Just given up and not tried at all, and spent my time doing something more fun (e.g. reading The Hunger Games or watching my YouTube vids)

BUT NO!  I CANNOT MAKE UP MY FUCKING MIND.  I keep switching between caring and not caring and it's really screwing with my head.

I wish school would just end now.

BUT NO!  24 more of these lovely days ❤


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